14 October, 2010

click the linkage!

the arias are generally seen as a time when normal freethinking people with decent taste in music put aside 3 hours to mercilessly mock australia's most 'talented' douche bags. this year may be different however, if all goes to plan and my stormtroopers click on the shinny links, i will give you in a second, the best television of all time could come to fruition.

the lovely caitlin and declan are vying for the opportunity to grill our nations best and brightest musical leeches on the red carpet or the aria music awards. such questions may include:
cait gp

Q. you're on the red carpet and are trying to get the attention of the veronicas. how do you attract their attention and stand out from the crowd?
A. yell "i love you work".... they haven't heard that one in a while


d wow
Q. keith urban has arrived on the red carpet. what is your first blog about him?
A. move over russel crowe and the 'ordinary fear of god'. it's new zealand's new favourite super musician.

it's what we have always wanted. so, make it a reality and vote for you new favourite journalists. declan here and caitlin here. if nothing else but to see their pretty faces on the telly. 

05 October, 2010

banned from wikipedia!

i have been banned from editing pages on wikipedia for some kind of slander infringement. seems fair, i probably deserved it. BUT the fact of it is, i have absolutely no idea what i did. i went back through my blog posts and facebook status' looking for what exactly i was doing that day that might have pushed me too far and caused me to lash out on wiki. NOTHING!

One piece short of a puzzle?
so now i have been forced to take out my abject rage on the encyclopaedia website. i'm not silly though, won't be getting my ip address banned again.... lets just say, that people at the university of wollongong probably won't be able to edit pages for about a month. i do have to admit, i did find out i had been banned when i intended to go on a page and call someone a slut. but, i didn't get the chance. i mean i did today, still not the point. i would like to call some idiot keyboardist verve-frontman-loving person whatever names i like, from the comfort of my own home.

the biggest problem is, i can't even find out what i initially did to get banned. my conduct is not up for negotiation. it's like living under a fascist regime, except online and it doesn't really matter. i have found a way around the issue and begun my 10 step plan to destroy wikipedia. at the very least, i may mildly irritate them. still, not sure where to start. pick a sweet spot and poke it with a hard stick seems apt. any suggestions? anyone you really dislike or maybe someone you do like that you wish for me to make up a whimsical lie about?

suggestions please! i need my archduke-franz-ferdinand-first-strike to really kick off the annoying.

04 October, 2010

mellowing in my old age....kind of. ok maybe not.

a few weekends ago i attended a lovely wedding. the best kind, with a bride and groom that you actually like and can stomach how much in love they are, without day-dreaming about taking a firearm to the crowded reception. not that i'm bitter. well, that's not entirely true. i am, but i wasn't that day. furthermore, i think the experience of actively enjoying a wedding, sans feeling the need to get completely trollied on free wine, has softened my view on god.

ok so let me explain. religious weddings usually make my very cynical atheist side come out. that day, i tried really hard not to mock or giggle. right, so i giggled a little bit.... still, in my active repression (of which i have years of catholic church-going practice) i found myself listening. i'm not saying i believe in god now. i haven't seen the light and i still think strong belief in god is a bit mad BUT maybe, just maybe, denying the existence of god is as moronic as believing in one.

as a result of this, i did what i have always done. go a reading. so i read-up a bit. philosophy is generally fun for me, saves me having to think up my own ideas, and i found a very interesting guy called robert g. ingersoll. an american political leader, don't worry he wasn't very 'good' at that, and orator during the 19th century. he gave a speech in 1896 entitled, 'why i am an agnostic'. it spoke to me, answered some questions i hadn't known to ask.

ingersoll wrote, "is there a supernatural power-an arbitrary mind-an enthroned god-a supreme will that sways the tides and currents of the world-to which all causes bow? i do not deny. i do not know-but i do not believe. i believe that the natural is supreme-that from the infinite chain no link can be lost or broken-that there us no supernatural power that can answer prayer- no power that worship can persuade or change-now power that cares for man.

i believe that with infinite arms nature embraces the all-that there is no inference-no chance-that behind every event are the necessary and countless causes, and that beyond every event will be and must be necessary and countless effects.

is there a god? i do not know. is man immortal? i do not know. one thing i do know, and that is, that neither hope, nor fear, belief, nor denial, change the fact. it is as it is, and it will be as it must be."

i like this on many levels but, to name just two. nature, science, evolution and humanity in my mind are all linked. to stop looking to the heavens for answers and instead look at each other i think is, not only powerful but, also sensible and practical if you want actual answers about life, the universe and everything. secondly, his ideas of prayer as essentially scripted hoping. this desire for certain things to happen if we hope/pray really really hard will make some blind bit of difference. good people that do good things for the right reason, is in my mind, far better use of their time on earth than spending hours and hours of their life in a draughty old church (where god lives) and recite barely remembered scripture like it was a song from childhood.

so this is me softened. hmmm maybe not in hind sight, but still i was genuinely happy for the bride and groom even if i do think they were brought together by a random series of events over thousands and thousands of years and not god. because if so, where is my knight in shinning armour? ok maybe a lot bitter.

congrats guys! hope you like the egg rings.

03 October, 2010

the commonwealth games, the olympics retarded half sister!

if you are a member of a post-english empire country you may know that the commonwealth games are on. its all very unexciting. not a sports fan myself, spent the nrl grand final asleep. still, there is one thing i have noticed that quite often occurs at events like this, and that is the shitness of most national anthems. australia's really is rubbish, but i am comforted by the fact that new zealands is worse.

although, there is one that is quite clearly worse and to add insult to injury they are pretty good at sports now. 'god save our gracious queen'? oh please, does she really need that much saving? she does live in a big house behind barb-wire fences with guys with guns standing in front of that. now, that is one fucking saved queen! why does she need 'her people' to stand on platforms and sing to her good health? maybe she should be put in peril, send her off to afghanistan in her pyjamas. THEN maybe then the british would have something to sing about.

so this isn't my joke, can't remember where i saw it. but, it stuck with me and today made me angry all over again. do not even get me started on the pointlessness of flags....