31 May, 2010

baby me, and you'll be peeing through a catheter!

there really is something so very very wrong with my ears and how they really really do not like the word 'baby' in reference to me. 'babe', seems to be slightly more acceptable but it does have to come from the right person. it was pointed out to me this week that such endearments must be earned. with friends through trial and tribulation. still, the independent person in me distinctly dislikes being called 'babe' by any man.

i think that it creates a hostility in me that probably has to do with power struggle and domination. now, before you get excited i don't mean domination in the wips and chains kind of extreme way but, there might be an element of that. being called 'that word' (i'm sorry i can't even type it anymore) by a man suggests some sort of immediate submissive dynamic that, to me, always feels like i am being talked down to. as though, i am just the little woman waiting for the man's commands that, i am an almost infantile sexual partner who will agree to without question.

i don't think so!

there is a reason i have included a picture of the lovely agent dana scully. the title of this post is thanks to her and also as a teenager i saw her as a great example of a strong, independent modern woman. even if she did have a penchant for getting kidnapped and shot at.

30 May, 2010

chevron seven locked.

quick re-blog. my dear sister has her very own blog shaped play thing. check it out and follow her as she travels around 'the land of the free'. a recent day trip, for example, saw her experience the boring sport of baseball.

link link link -> here.

29 May, 2010

question time: the only thing that can make me that angry and bored at the same time.

now, don't tell anyone but i do on occasion partake in a nice afternoon of not wearing pants and yelling at the television. that might sound just a little bit bad but there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. here we go, this is hard, hi my name is michelle and i'm addicted to question time. wow, that wasn't so bad. but, seriously i really like watching politicians yelling at each other across a room about the politics of the day. does sometime worry me that these people control the country but then julia gillard speaks and i feel a warm glow of security again.

this is unquestionably the greatest thing on free to air television. it is the only thing that can make you absolutely furious and bored at the exact same time. not sure, what that says about me as a normal well rounded individual but hey if i let things like that bother me i would never have gone to bulgaria. which actually in hind-sight wasn't a good idea.

i digress. i do have a sordid voting past. i did vote for john howard (twice eek, please don't lynch me) but i was young and he was good for comedians morale. the latest federal liberal party re-shuffle has me scared. i might have voted for malcolm turnbull, he was quite left for a conservative, and seemed to be somewhat sane. BUT, tony abbott has this bizarre ability to both terrify and anger me without even opening his mouth. then when he does speak you can't not picture him in his speedos.

vomit! this is not america, this is not a country that elects someone because they can lift the heavy thing. i wasn't that worried about his ability to win the next election against our current prime minister but some very smart people are telling me that some aussies are buying what el doucho abbott is selling. tax hikes, outrageous policy shaped by jesus, internet sensorship comparable to china's, no national broadband, taking money away from school kids and giving it to their pals the mining industry. oh and lets not forget 'work choices' that i now believe is 'abbott's box of arse magic'. i could be wrong there but still, if the man had his way secular australian society would become as insane as americas 'in god we trust'. where one third of the population believing in an actual devil (with horns and a tail). that is true by the way. the country of operaology....

then there is julie bishop. i think she might just be the wicked witch of the west. and not the fuzzy singing one of 'wicked'. keep half expecting her to turn green and start running around the house of representatives cackling and calling for her flying monkeys. though, if the liberal party gets into power in the next election the witch will probably have a sexy new hat and her monkeys out of work. then again, abbott looks a bit monkey-like so maybe not.

28 May, 2010

internet bulling is really really bad. that is, unless you win!

a rather public facebook slinging match occurred yesterday between an acquaintance of mine and an extremely undignified girl with the emotional range of a teaspoon. as usual i inserted myself and littered the argument, with a fun turn of phrase and pop culture references. it wasn't so much that this girl, lets call her 'chase', was a nasty piece of work and very rude to all involved, she was. but, it was more that she kept ending her sentences with a preposition that really bugged me. moreover, she had no punctuation and kept using the world 'civilised'. i think this was because it has 3 syllables and she thought that the use of it made her seem smart. she then proceeded to leave out vowels and consonants of innocuous words like 'lik'.

i know i am a bit of a grammar snob, but this comes from the fact that, i have terrible grammar and spelling (as wados can attest too). still, i get away with blue murder by RUNNING WORDS THROUGH SPELL CHECK. it really isn't that hard. how do you expect anyone to listen to your argument when you spell like you are in kindergarten? a slow kindergartener at that.

it's not that being unable to spell correctly makes you a bad person. everyone is free to write however they like. but, what someone should tell chase is that when you comment on facebook or send an email full of misspellings and errant apostrophes people judge you; and by people, i mean me. i don't think this is just arrogant snobbery on my part because if you were a bad writer and not great at spelling then (like me) you would check the contents of you comment before sending. also, this is a public space. people of the public read your comments. the real life equivalent is going out wearing a bright pink jumper with an alien on it and then expecting people to take you seriously.

still, this fetishisation of language/spelling does piss me off to no end. it isn't something that should be trendy! mostly because it is simply useful. then again, i would rather be judged by my ability to use the english language than return to the days of yore when the arbitrary measure of a human's worth was how many animals they could kill or their talents with a pastry bag.

i think 'chase' ought to check out a nice little video i have found for her. it outlines some of the mistakes she made. you know, so when she picks a fight with someone next time she will at least be able to say, 'i couldn't care less!' correctly. other snappy phrases are also included in this video so she won't, in the future, speak like a rhesus monkey on speed!

also, i am sure there are many grammatical and general language mistakes in this rant. as such, i would urge you to point them out. it's how i learn. except wados, you have done enough for this post my friend.

27 May, 2010

a lovely man speaking in a lovely house.

exciting time here in michelle's world! one celebrity encounter with the amazing brian chase; made a slight douche of myself in front of him by swooning over his obvious love for me and my inevitable close friendship with karen o. but now, tickets go on sale to see stephen fry speak at the sydney opera house! the wonderful man of words, wit and wondrous neck ties is coming to speak in july. he could be my connection to david mitchell and hugh laurie.... still, other than that i am so excited to see the mans mind at work in person. squee!

you still might be able to get your hot qi loving hands on tickets. might have to go to the box office but i'm sure you can get them online. check out the official site here. hopefully we can have some post speech drinks and discuss the witticisms of the evening. i'm not drinking before hand, need to be completely sober and ready to absorb all the amazingness i can.

26 May, 2010

one bandwagon i won't be jumping on.

james cameron is to blame but it really isn't just his fault. 3d is the most absurd crazy this decade. i really must be missing something, i just do not see the fascination.

i live my entire life in 3d, why in the world would i want to go and escape my boring life only be forced to wear unattractive glasses and have it seem as though spears are being thrown at me? this anger has come from the latest news on the 3d front, 3d tv. is anyone really going to buy these and sit at home watching backyard blitz in blue and red glasses going, 'it really feels as though you are in their backyard!'? you know, because you don't have one of those.....wait....

it also isn't even that great. to be honest the whole experience left me feeling distinctly queazy. caution 3d may cause you to look like a loser and motion sickness. though, i do have to admit i really love this picture. the lady at the front looks like she is having a gay old time.

25 May, 2010

christmas in....may?

yes yes i know it is traditionally in december or july but here i go again, bucking the trend. but, today i watched 'love actually'. again. and remembered why i love it and wish i was english or even just lived in london again. there are two reasons i love this movie. one, the airport scenes that bookend the movie are rather amazing. real footage from heathrow airport is used wonderfully to highlight the nice family side of humanity. gives you a nice warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart. secondly, the cast. not just the obviously well breed and eloquent cast of rickman, thompson, nighy, neeson, linney, atkinson, firth and grant (who is a rather good dancer, as it turns out) but the kid that plays neeson's step-son steals the movie in my opinion. thomas sangster is his name and he is an absolute cutie. makes me feel quite old because as it turns out he is 20 years old. eek!

anyway, one of my fave scenes in this film. far too many to choose just one but this has music so it wins.

24 May, 2010

why wollongong sucks.

now, i have always been a lover of wollongong since i moved here and it really wasn't until today that i started hating on it. been missing my friends that (selfishly) moved away to have lives and uni careers outside of the south coast but i have never felt it more than today. the lovely and talented brian chase (from the yeah yeah yeahs) is playing a free lunchtime gig at the uni bar and no one here seems to care. strike one wollongong.

he is wonderful and a member of one of my fave and easily coolest bands in the world and people here are going, brian who? for shame! also, i had to park today almost in freaking figtree! was late for class when a douche bag wearing a volcolm shirt saying 'your mum is my other ride' called me an indie wanker, for no reason. wtf i wasn't even wearing or doing anything weird. strike two wollongong!

i was ready to go back to bed at this stage and in hind sight probably should have!

one more strike and you are out, to use my newly acquired baseball knowledge! gota say if this happens again i'm going to have to go on a killing spree and cull the area after an extensive music and fashion quiz/poll. failure means death! you have been warned.

but, like all things there is a good side to wollongong. work is fun! but, when you're sick and grumpy all the tedious tiny annoying things jump into focus. i'm sure it's the universes way of keeping you on your toes.

23 May, 2010

french military victories - did not match any documents.

just a bit of good old french bashing. this is the result you used to get if you typed into google, 'french military victories' and then pressed 'i'm feeling lucky'. it unfortunately doesn't work anymore but i give you this pic in memory of the smart chickens that wrote this sneaky program. bravo!

22 May, 2010

who do you think you are?

i'm seriously lucky to have a mum with facebook. you put up a little comment about watching, 'who do you think you are?' and wondering what is lurking in your dna. this is what i got back.

my ancestors were a heady mix of several convicts, lots of thieves, a madame and that's just in the 17 and 1800s. a few more colourful characters since then but, according to mum, all lines lead to ireland. four leaf clovers, guinness, leprechauns, binge drinking and casual violence. add to this a 15 year old convict who came to australia on the second fleet. when he died, 1839, he was recorded to be worth 11 million pounds. that's a lot of money now, back then he was a venerable bill gates.

just one wonderful story: my grandmother used to visit HER grandmother (my great-great grandmother) every sunday and at the insistence of her great-aunties was not allowed to tell her grandmother that her mother (ellen) had died. four months later old grannie was dead too. now, this is where things get hilarious. turns out, grandma (aka. eliza stephens) in her youth was arrested for 'keeping a disorderly house' and in 1870 was sentenced to 3 years, which she served in the uk and then immigrated to australia. married a nice wealthy farmer and proceeded to pump out 5 kids, the eldest being ellen. the name 'ellen' (which is my and my mums middle name) came from this line. mr. wealthy farmer's mother died when he was 10 years old and his younger sister was 2 years old; they were reportedly close and her name was ellen. he named his first daughter after is younger sister and it has stuck through generations.

anyway, this whole line goes back to the 15 year old kid that came out on the famous ship 'the scarborough' with the second fleet. that kids name was jonathan griffiths. follow that link for details but the cut down version is he was arrested for stealing 5 pounds worth of stuff and sentenced to 'seven years transportation'. he arrived on norfolk island in 1790 and began learning how to build ships. he moved to sydney in 1795 and later began building ships to use in the carriage of grain up and down the nsw coast. his family later relocated to victoria were the began farming and (oops unpc alert) whaling. he died in his 80th year with two wives (not at the same time, thank god), 9 children, a small fortune and an island off the coast of victoria named after him. 12 generations removed from me.....i feel quite insignificant after all that.

i'm so proud. no really, a madame and a self made millionaire, how cool is that?! this is all just my mums side of the family. god only knows what we might find on my dads side....we dare not look.

21 May, 2010

i hate you, james cameron!

what a hack! i hate him to the exact same degree that i love maggie. ooh yea think about that next time you make a film! as one of the 5 people in the world who haven't seen 'avahontas' you will never get any of my money you idea stealing arse! that is all.

20 May, 2010

dreaming of burberry....again.

i want a trench coat! is it too much to ask for a beautiful tan, double breasted, knee length, tartan lined beauty with a sexy burberry tag? seems so if you aren't willing to sell a kidney to get one. under $500 is farely reasonable, no? yea it really isn't. upwards of $1000! for shame burberry.

well in my internet travels i found some wonderful pics but i really like this one the most. that kid screams innocent cool. not a bit of pretentiousness in sight. the satorialist couldn't have found a cooler kid.

oh well i guess i'll have to settle for a london fog trench. or not.....all donations for the 'michelle wants a burberry coat fund' are accepted via email and in person. ALSO, i do have a birthday coming up. remember, tan, double breasted, knee length, burberry! cheers. i promise to act surprised.

19 May, 2010

i heart you, maggie smith!

i also love that my uni degree (the fun one) allows me to watch movies as a requirement for assessment. anyway, the latest big assignment that i'm doing with alex is organising a film festival centred around a genre. hence 'hagsploitation' was born. well, we didn't invent it but we are bringing it out of obscurity for all to bask in its amazingness!

maggie smith is my favourite of all favourite actresses' of all time. in the movie 'keeping mum' she is a great modern example of hagsploitation or 'psyco-buddy'. in this movie, comedy is mixed into the genre well and proves that nana violence and laughs can go hand-in-hand.

maggie is a credit to her art and that fact that a grumpy cynical indie snob like me can fall for her charm and grace is inspiring. my first beagle puppy will be named in her honour!

18 May, 2010

goodbye luddy, HELLO huddy!

ok so house fans, SPOILER ALERT! don't watch the below vid if you want to be surprised by the shows latest instalment! if not, and you either don't give a crap about the show or love to be spoiled then check this out! this episode was shot using a canon 5d mark ii. the cameras comparably compact size allowed them to shoot in a much more confined space and also made the film easier to process and manipulate in its digital form.

so this is the very last scene of the episode, 'help me' and season 6. can't wait to see what the next season holds. it's an all new ball game! hooray! go david shore! bucking the 'moonlighting effect' as the piece of crap that it is!

17 May, 2010

i'm a scared and you should be too.

so before i hook you into this post with my lyrical style of 'writing' please be warned that this post does require some extra reading. a bit like an arts university tutorial, if you don't read at least a few paragraphs of the referred reading you may not get what i'm going on about. like many of my other angry rants this logical one came from the big brained amazing man david mitchell.

have a mini look at his guardian column here and then check back for my own take on this bizarre turn of event. aaannnddd BREAK!

welcome back, so my problem with this is rather self-concerning. i post crap all the time. my facebook status updates as some of you may know are a myriad of threatening physical violence mixed with just general insanity. what if i 'accidentally' (or more like purposely) have a bit of a vent and end up unemployed and fined like poor ole paul chambers? look there he is....what a muppet!

ok so yea, he did threaten to blow up an airport but COME ON, it clearly wasn't a genuine threat as he did say he was going to do it in 'a week or so'. are al qaeda really that hard up for ideas for terrorist attacks? then why, to add insult to injury, would they then go to all of the trouble of planning to blow up a tiny airport and then POST IT ON TWITTER! for gods sake this is ridiculous and i am really now concerned that if one day i say the wrong thing i will get arrested.

i have as a result joined the wonderful website that aims to protect the rights of bloggers and promote fair and sane online law. the electronic frontier foundation (eff), aims to protect users "freedoms in the networked world when they come under attack, the eff is the first line of defence. eff broke new ground when it was founded in 1990 - well before the internet was on most peoples radar - and continues to confront cutting-edge issues defending free speech, privacy, innovation, and consumer rights today. from the beginning, eff has championed the public in every critical battle affecting digital rights."

if you blog, tweet or even facebook i can not recommend enough that you check their site out. know your rights and keep saying whatever the bloody hell you like.

16 May, 2010

combo love!

i really love film, music and trivia generally. so when i found out that this video combined 3 loverly things into one amazing music video i felt the need to share. the vid below is from the very talented band kasabian. now these young lads from leicester in the uk have been tinkering around with guitars and such for a few years now, as a result are now at the top of their game. some of you may have seen them play at the big day out this year.

this song is off their most recent album, 'the west rider lunatic asylum' and this particular song is directed by none other than mr. richard ayoade (who plays moss from 'the it crowd') and stars the very funny noel fielding (from 'the mightly boosh') as the serial killing vampire 'vlad the impaler'. the name 'vlad the impaler' funnily enough was the original name chosen by bram stoker for the character who would be later called dracula. how cool is that?!

there is also a wonderful line in the song, "joker, meet you on the other side". this is a bit of a shout out/homage to heath ledger on his work in 'the dark night' and his subsequent death. still, regardless of all the doom and gloom in this song the video is oddly funny. this is a great display of the inate humour of the band, director and the actor in this 4 minute mini movie.

15 May, 2010

i really don't get the lesbian 'dress code'.

seriously! as i write this in the uni library, cause i ran out of internet again damn house md and its addictive episode goodness, i am stting opposite a very dykie looking lesbian. though can't be sure she really is gay but the crew cut and trucker singlet are indicators.

last night i went to the opening of the sydney travelling film festival and one of the two movies we watched was 'the topp twins: untouchable girls'. the film follows the lives and careers of new zealands finest yodelling, activist, rural lesbian twins. they were hilarious! their complete abandonment when it comes to performing is very endearing and leaves you forgetting and not even caring that they are so out of this world different.

still, the only problem with them is the way they choose to dress. come one, flannel is not a good look on a lady. BUT, for these two women it doesn't really matter. the crew cut hair and thick new zealand rural accent is actually charming. maybe because they are from the country is is more acceptable. if you are gay living in sydney, you have no excuse to not dress with some sense of femininity. it's as if they think dressing feminine comes from the love of a good penis....ummm somehow i don't think that is right.

anyway back to the topp's, an act like this would never find the level of fame and receive national love were they from australia. new zealand is very lucky in this respect. maybe it is because it is comparably such a small country but the topp twins in my mind seem to personify liberal thinking and acceptance that australia is severely lacking. these two women who have been openly gay from the very beginning of their public lives are truly beloved by all new zealands from every walk of life. from the big city gay scene to their rural home town cattle drive community.

these two women through their extensive advocacy work (anti-nuclear, gay rights, anti-apartheid, breast cancer awareness) make me feel terribly good to be a human being. still, the fact that had they been from rural australia they would never had reached the level of national fame that they do in new zealand. and THAT makes me ashamed to be australian. god bless new zealand.

12 May, 2010

no body likes a math geek, scully.

you short change a few people and suddenly your a bad person. my math skills are so very very bad. i just don't seem to have a knack for it. for some unknown reason adding 4 and 3 is insanely difficult and when i use a calculator to work it out customers look at me like i'm missing chromosome and tell me the total. as though i'm impressed by their ability to do simple math and read upside down.

maybe, i'm just a bit sensitive about my brains inability to function anymore. feeling slightly academicly inferior and it has begun to seep into my everyday life. ooh well, see how my last psych essay goes and then the decision to kill myself or not kill myself will have a final answer. until then, my current approach to university work will have to do.....putting things off right up until they are due the next morning and having to harass my friends for their knowledge at 2am. cheers wados! love you sooooo much!

ALSO, on a love note big happy birthday to my favouritst wife! cait is all grown up now. the big two o! they just grow up so fast!

11 May, 2010

oh nicole, thank god paris dumped you!

this is probably going to get me a lot of flack off my super trendy mates but after flicking through a nylon mag this morning (didn't buy it, ha too expensive this week) i found nicole richies new fall/winter fashion line AND it is rather amazing! for god sake she has a phantom of the opera style cape in there. i want it, if only so i can run around my flat pretending to be a witch of hogwarts. but my nerdiness aside, this is a very cool line. velvet, peacock prints mixed with a top hat....what more could a girl want.

also, the other surprising aspect of this absurd discovery is the price. these pieces are actually totally affordable. well, for a celebrity fashion label that is. richie's mix of 70s fashion, that she obviously has a serious crush on is mixed with the trendy retroness of todays (i really hate to say alternative/indie) fashion. but this line is actually not for just the rake moss skinny. free flowing with vibrant colours many of the dresses and layered looks hide a multitude of body sins. still she keeps her line called 'winter kate' very cool with looks clearly inspired by iconic 70s fashionistas like steve nicks and debbie harry.

two very big names there. can't say i ever expected to love something by one half of a duo involving paris hilton but then again a tory just won the british election. anything is possible it seems. check out the nylon story here, hope it surprises you too.

10 May, 2010

facebook sucks! i need a life....

i have been a very bad blogger of late and haven't been posting for my 2 avid readers. get off my back mum! but it seems i have run out of things to say and stalking noel fielding online is taking up a lot of my time. oh and i work and i go to uni. but lets face it, it is mostly the stalking.

now it could be my lack of a life in general and JPs selfish decision to leave facebook, but the 'social networking' site is just not doing it for me these days. there is nothing on it really worth looking at. it is this realisation that rather than it being my friends fault (you know them being boring) it is actually my own fault. i am boring. when did this happen? probably during a stargate repeat marathon i realised actually how sad i am. now this isn't me fishing for complements or anything like that but merely the realisation that somethings in my life need to change.

i am not about to do anything drastic like become vegan and start referring to myself with some kind of amusing alias but little things might be in need of some altering. not going to tell you what cause well there needs to be some surprise when i show up to physie class in a lycra onesie and a mohawke but yes times they are a changing.

sorry no real point to this back to buzzcocks!

07 May, 2010


just a quick angry edit! i found out yesterday that the new smoking tax is NOT 2.5% but is in actual fact 25%. TWENTY FIVE PERCENT!!! this sucks! do you have an idea how much more food i am not going to be able to eat to balance that deficit?! today i bought a 20 pack for $17.24! when i asked the lovely young man at the bp service station if that was just for one pack, he looked at me as though i confessed to eating babies and simply replied 'yes'. i only want to smoke! for gods sake i don't do drugs i hardly even drink and i'm treated like a social outcast!

well this is it! i am now going to do something. not sure what that something is but lets put it this way if ole malcolm turnbull was still the leader of the opposition party i would totally have voted for him! skrew you krudd! i hope you get attacked by hot scones on a regular basis!

06 May, 2010

beat the devil's tattoo!

to celebrate the fact that i can't afford a splendour in the grass tickets this year; ok so 'celebrate' might not be the right word. but anyway, the amazing line up has spawned sideshows! hooray sideshows!

next week tickets to the amazing american band, black rebel motorcycle club (brmc) sydney sideshow go on sale! can't wait! i have never seen this band live. their new album, 'beat the devil's tattoo' is rather wonderful the song of the album title is easily my favourite!

give them a listen here and if you dig that you can pick up a ticket to their sydney show here. if you beat me out of a ticket though i will kick you to death! also so getting some merch! woop!

05 May, 2010

england's answer to gran torino.

the new michael caine movie, 'harry brown' looks amazing! this months empire magazine has a great story in it about the film and how it will most likely be the charming englishmans final film with him as the leading man. this film, that is daniel barber's directorial debut, speaks of social and cultural decay in london that is ignored by caine's protagonist until his friend is killed by drug dealers. this film combined with clint eastwoods elderly portayal in gran torino has birthed a new sub-genre that critiques are calling 'geezer thriller'.

keep a look out for this film that is in cinemas 25th of may. for now check out the trailer.

04 May, 2010

i smoke, and i vote!

let me preface this post by saying, smoking is bad it causes cancer and i am under no allusions that there is hard scientific proof to back this up. i'm not stupid i know this. though, i do continue to smoke and yes i know THIS is stupid.

a massive hike in the tax on cigarettes began in new south wales last weekend. 2.5% is a lot in the grand scheme of things and the reasons behind this are highly questionable. the tax hike is posited by governments to be purely for health concerns. as though, smokes will now quit because per packet the price has risen about $1 per 25 pack. one, this won't work two, this also won't stop people taking up smoking and three, it isn't the only reason for the tax. there are other incentives to this tax that are far less noble than, 'we want the youth of australia to live long, happy, cancer free lives'.

we all know tobacco companies are evil. we as evil as mcdonalds yet the are perhaps less nasty than their modern day fast food friends. this is due mostly to restrictions governments around the world to undermine companies freedom to for example target their product to young consumers. this is a good thing. kids shouldn't be smoking. they are still developing physically and mentally; having such a vice at a young age IS dangerous.

the right to choose as an adult is a god given rite. if you want to eat meat then you do. if you don't want to own a hand gun then you don't. but upping the price of either of these products is not going to deter people from purchasing them.

the real reason behind the new tax has got to be far more consumer based. capitalism is more powerful than democracy in first world countries like australia or america. politicians and leaders understand this. people smoke tobacco, tobacco comanies make money and governments want a piece of the action. money is a far greater motive than interest in public health during a global economic crisis. why not be up font about this? why not say we want smokers money? well going into a federal election, smokers vote too.

we have come to expect this kind of underhandedness from our conservative liberal party leaders. but krudd, give us a break! why aren't you upping the price of your precious queensland beer xxxx? oooh right, cause its not at all addictive, harmful and doesn't have greater social implications. more aussies drink and vote than smoke and vote.

light up a cigarette for democracy! its your civic duty!

03 May, 2010

'cause i was born free!

m.i.a is perhaps best known for her famous song 'paper planes' but what some people don't know she is a very political artist. her latest single 'born free' is her most controversial song to date. due in part to the songs unashamed attack on how governments treat their own people. the much publicised music video has got everyones undies in knots over its violence. still, it is beautifully made and the graphic violence in this case serves a very important purpose.

i can't recommend you watch this clip enough. if you don't feel some empathy or any kind of emotion i believe you are what psychiatrists call a sociopath. please tell me what you think, i'm really keen to see what other people get from this.

WARNING the clip below does show some very violent images and i probably wouldn't watch this if you were under 18 years of age OR on your work computer.

02 May, 2010

what ever happened to famous last words?

yesterday i was re-watching the hbo series rome, that i cannot recommend enough btw, when SPOILER ALERT caesar is killed in the senate and finally dies at the hand of his pseudo (maybe actual) son brutus. his last words were, 'et tu, brute?' meaning, 'even you, brutus'. this got me thinking, you only ever hear about famous last words in history and also do they really even matter?

admiral lord horatio nelson's, who died after the battle of trafalgar, last words are heavily debated, 'kiss me hardy', 'fan fan....rub rub....drink drink', and 'thank god i have done my duty' are all posited as his final testament. i think the last is the most poetic, if it's true. the poet that lives in us all, yes i believe we all have one, is driven to say something ethereal in those final moments before the complete unknown. when asked by her husband how she felt on her death bed elizabeth barrett browning said simply, 'beautiful'. to feel and articulate such a thing when in pain and presumably shit scared is a testament to a persons mind, life and subsequent spirit.

still, on the flip side we have h.g. wells, who was another great writer. his final words reflected his life in another way. in his independence and willingness to buck conventions he said, 'go away. i'm alright!'. in more recent years our heros have decided to find the funny. humphry bogart famously said, 'i should never have switched from scotch to martinis.'. we are forced to laugh at the absurdity of death and how we treat it with kid gloves. maybe, it's all the life insurance ads on morning tv talking now but, everybody is going to die. you may as well go out in style.

my personal favourite has got to be oscar wilde, 'my wallpaper and i are fighting a duel to the death. one or the other of us has to go.'. he died how he lived with eloquence and humor. i guess that is what i want. not for my final words to sum up my life, because they simply can't. but to say something profane, to have the last thing you say to impact the people still alive is terribly precious and powerful.

karl marx must have had a similar idea, the man didn't want his final words recorded and as a result they were, 'go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough'. maybe that's true. but, the reason we feel the need to record and look back on them is because these were people who did have a lot to say. men and women who did the world a service (or disservice) and are celebrated or condemned accordingly. last words only seem to matter if the words of a life time are deemed to matter.

i suppose what it comes down to is having a legacy, having done something with your life that has left the world slightly better off. that and i'm terrified of going out without style. 'hey, everybody, watch this!' or 'don't worry, they don't usually swim backwards.' are terrible examples. my biggest fear isn't dying or even being locked in a cage. but, if i end up in the darwin awards then i will haunt the entire world until the end of time.

01 May, 2010

oh what fresh hell is this?

what would roger the alien do? today i got some new eps of american dad! i don't care what people say, it is better than family guy! all thanks to the greatness of roger the alien! a guy who is usually always drunk and dressed in elaborate costumes with wigs and hilarious catch phrases. this weeks episode about the apocalypse, 'raptures delight', sees roger take on the absurdity of religion from an 'outsiders' perspective. if only i was a clever as this lazy other worlder.

oh i love your religion for the crazy! virgin births, water into wine....it's like harry potter but it causes genocide and bad folk music.

what's the rapture? its the first sign of the end of the world when good christians ascent to heaven! ascend?! you're flying now!

i hope i haven't missed the bit where the three chinese guys give perfume to the star baby ha ha it's like the diaries of a madman.