30 April, 2010

boulangerie, which is fun to go into and to say.

i am always looking for new blog topics as i am pretty immersed in my own narcissistic ramblings and have stumbled upon what i think is possibly the greatest topic EVER. cake! yes cake! i really do love cake and i feel because of health hippys and nutrition nazis that it gets a pretty bad wrap these days and needs a little love.

now, my love for cake, like most of us, began when i was a child. it is a love that has continued into adulthood and shows no signs of fading. i understand that this is a weird thing to rant about and perhaps is a waste of the internets precious time and space but, it's my blog and i'll write what i want to. what was i saying? oh yes icing. icing, in my opinion, is the most hit and miss part of a cakes makeup. if the first thing i taste is bad, then i'm moving on....not that i won't eat it but, i will complain. secondly, and of equal importance is the main body of cake. a good cake is like a good house, if its foundations are bad then the whole thing won't taste good.

right, well i think that analogy could have gone better but anyway.... unless your diabetic or amish (they don't have icing, a cake is not a cake without icing) you should be eating at least one piece of cake per week. i might actually request some government advertising to this affect. the slogan could be, "you can't drink too much, you can't smoke, you can't eat fast food and killing is generally frowned on. still you can have some cake 'cause its FUN!". everything that is bad for you is fun. so, you should pick the lesser of evils and just drop by michel's patisserie today for some afternoon delight. the french have the right idea. no one goes to church. we're all going to die, may as well make a fraking nice cake.

unless your diabetic....or amish.

29 April, 2010

oh david david david.

you just can't keep a "good" tory down. oh wait yes you can! as britian braces itself for another federal election david mitchell (my hero) is hott on the future down fall or the conservative leader david cameron (the anti-christ, well that might be a bit harsh). fellow qier rob brydon pointed out while quoting dr. phil, history teaches. that and margaret thatcher hate runs deep. which by the way, is a good thing.

27 April, 2010

bicycle! bicycle!

bike update! i unfortunately, didn't win evangeline aka the red bike. BUT yesterday i was lucky enough to bag a freakin bargain! look there she is! i pick her up tomorrow! the thing of it is she needs a name. all ideas are welcome! and the winner of the name contest will win a prize, not sure what the prize is but it will be magnificent!

26 April, 2010

time waits for no man.

last thursday the lovely miss emma took me to her friends acoustic gig at the otis bar, wollongong. local kids 'sunday waits' have a very mellow vibe about them.... though, of course that could just be their acoustic sound. the band is very much a family affair and i think this contributes to the honesty of song lyrics and not to mention that the chorus' are insanely infectious. now, i bought their self titled cd that you can pick up at any of their many upcoming shows. also, they are looking for a new drummer so if you are one or know one direct them here.

great night chatting with one of my best mates over a few glasses of wine. whilst sitting down, i do love sitting down. twas all very civilised. nice change from the usual wollongong night life. even if the place was littered with regular customers from work. ha.

25 April, 2010

thank god for the abc!

as i resist the urge to start marching around my lounge room while i watch the annual sydney anzac day march; i've begun to contemplate my own possible military service. as some of you may know, i am considering finishing off my university/psychology qualifications through the australian armed forces. i have always thought serving my country in this way to be an incredibly noble and rewarding choice of employment.

there is nothing i can say in the post that can sum up what the men and women who are marching today other than, 'lest we forget'. today we take the time and give these humble patriots our respect. they, like their fallen comrades when asked by their country to give, gave their lives in the service of our small nation. even if you don't agree with the reasons behind why we go to war, soldiers deserve and should expect civilian respect. i suppose what today is about, respect. for us to take one day every year to be reminded of the sacrifice that unfortunately was essential to our nation being what it is today. the youth of this nation, that seems to be largely in disarray in a haze of american pop culture and bacardi breezers, yearly have their eyes opened to the big, bad, violent world of the past and present.

this is a good thing, and if they watch the parade on tv or in person this is one thing we can all agree on. or if all that goes over ignorant heads, there are always hott navy sailors....that can't be a bad thing surely.

24 April, 2010

radiohead and a detoxing house. MAGIC!

the greatest combo ever! my love for both the band and the show grew exponentially when i saw the house md season opener. well done thom york and katie jacobs! i love you both!

23 April, 2010

you know, it's all my mothers fault i'm this way!

as i contemplate my future winter fashion choices and what i will put with what, it dawns on me the obvious impact 1950s and 60s fashion icons have on me. in some subliminal way, twiggy, bridget bardot, marianne faithfull, lauren bacal, edie sedgwick and of course janet leigh with their unique brand of amazingness have snuck into my wardrobe dreams. yes i dream of clothes, what of it! it's a nice reprieve from the giant badger with his good friend the knife wielding clown! but i digress....

i'm not naive, i know that fashion goes in cycles and my love of these amazing women is a result of what is 'cool' at the moment. still, i think my love for these radtastic ladies ('cept ole edie, not sure how to reason her away. that's her there btw.) is perhaps a product of my upbringing. good looking, clever, independent but still with nice husbands, wealthy, blonde = my mum. doesn't really explain why i have their haircut, but i suppose it could shed some light on why i do seem to enjoy somewhat of a 60s lifestyle. i mean for god sake i just bought a bicycle from that decade!

art, film, music, the sexual revolution, the pill, BARBARELLA, more sex, pop art, easy rider, the free speech movement, the original star trek series, hippys, mick jagger before plastic surgery, minimalism, 2001: a space odyssey, CREAM (the band, you dirty birds), the civil rights movement, screen printing, the beatles, more drugs, oceans eleven (original NOT remake), beehives, more rock n' roll, mini-skirts, the mamas and the papas, goldfinger AND dr. no, warhol, the bikini, jimmy hendrix, nehru jackets, planet of the apes.

i could go on, but i really should stop now while i can. anywho, i know i have an incredibly idealised vision of this era but still assassinations, wars and prime minister swimming misshaps not with standing, if the tardis were to come by i'd definitely ask william hartnell for a lift back to a more revolutionary time.

22 April, 2010

ding dong the witch is dead! well, at least for another year.

i really could not give two shits about who won the third australian series of sytycd! i can't believe these illiterate half wits really think winning this competition that is supposedly, 'showing australia the world of dance', is going to make a blind bit of difference if they audition overseas. you will get turned down for the chorus on broadway but hey that laminated certificate from channel ten will keep you warm at night. then again, if you do get a spot in the back of the chorus in the matinée performance of 'wicked' during its 150th week you can feel proud that you will be doing the world a service. because, the world needs more musicals. hang on, wait. no sorry that isn't right. we learn nothing from musicals that we couldn't get of a life insurance ad on morning tv or the lovely and talented tina fey.

sytycd, or as i like to call it, 'stop crying about your precious "art form", cut your hair and get a job you pliet doing, tight wearing, pop music loving wanker!'....not sure that my title would take off. i mean, can u image the acronym.

ALSO, if it is so incredibly hard to speak because you are obviously somewhat disturbed from over stretching; how about practising what you are going to say before a camera is shoved in your face. these dancers need to get it through their tiny little minds that, stringing a sentence together without using the word "like" five times is important to us. we need to believe you have a brain that is slightly larger than roadkill if you expect us to reach across the couch for our mobile phones. moreover, their sob stories are either lacking in originality or far too elaborate. crying all over national tv twice a week about your dead granny with her kitty that has diabetes and the only way you can get it money for medicine is to dance your little heart out. ever heard of the saying, 'keep it simple stupid!'.

maybe it should be, 'shut up mr. jumpy you're pissing me off!' though, can't see that being really appropriate for the 7.30pm time slot. ooh well back to the drawing board.

21 April, 2010

a sweet present for you all!

to celebrate the mighty release of villa cola's debut album, 3 lucky readers get a hug from ME! yep that's right A HUG! 'score!', i hear you say? and if that doesn't wet your appetite, i also bring tidings of musical joy.

all the way from sexy london this super rad band gives you some fab fresh indie tunes. mewbox recently gave the band a rave review, 'villa cola has managed to fuse these sounds together creating music with deep punk roots, rockn' roll vocal stylings, and hitting synth beats.'. see the whole article here.

you will soon be able to buy their album on itunes (i'll keep you posted) or for now you can buy yourself a piece of cd history at their official website. intrigued? well, the bands first single 'seconds' also has a sweet vid. double click for fun fun fun!

20 April, 2010

a german in jail, scandalous!

when i get on a tangent its hard to get off it. germans. sport. what can i say i'm a creature of habit.

the famous atheist richard dawkins has started thinking big and i LOVE it! he is all set to arrest the pope! it amazes me that this could actually happen. he has got some pretty smartie pants lawyers onside. this times article caught my eye. there is precedence, you atheists/agnostics hold onto that!

can't wait to see the prada pope in unflatering vertical stripes. bah ha ha ha! oh how the immoral elite have fallen. or will fall, hopefully. oh gosh, i'm so going to hell.

19 April, 2010

lightspeed champion!

now see that funny looking dude there? his name is devonte hynes and he is also known as lightspeed champion. the guy has a very cool album out called 'life is sweet! nice to meet you.' and 'tis good shit! he is slightly insane though, in the good me kinda way.

his album is an odd mix of elvis, grandiose chorus', indie cool and chamber music. and if that doesn't sell it to ya he tricked me into thinking he was british and he is TEXAN! not to mention his affinity to dress up as princess leia for a charity performance....not sure what he and his band were raising money for.

well, i like the song 'the big guns of highsmith'. check 'em out -> http://www.myspace.com/lightspeedchampion

18 April, 2010

exercise is for once a by-product of looking cool.

i am currently bidding on a sweet vintage bicycle on ebay. look there it is! isn't she pretty? yes 'she' don't look too much into it. i think i might call her evangeline. anywho, i calculated last week when getting petrol that i hadn't bought petrol for 5 weeks! 5! how cool is that?! still, not THAT surprising. since getting a sweet new job not 10 minutes walk from where i live and university parking sucking so very hard, i only really use my car to shlep my arse to physie in figtree once a week.

also, the people at my work have been peer pressuring everyone into getting a bike....you know to be cool. i'm perfectly capable of rationalising the slight expense as a way of keeping my current employment. that and well parking inspectors love to book me, not getting parking fines will pay for the bike even if i don't win evangeline and am forced to buy one from melbourne, where all the cool bikes live apparently.

rationalisation over. will take some pretty pictures of me on it as soon as i have it.

17 April, 2010

this is why englishmen are the way to go....

'cause they are ugly and clever. david mitchell will you marry me? or at the very least let me wear your brain for a day? i'd give it back, maybe. i have a free hatbox and everything. check this shit out, yo!

16 April, 2010

i hate that i live in a country that would give matty a second chance!

as you may or may not know i hate rugby league, almost as much as i hate the foo fighters and the red hot chilli peppers. the whole game and the culture that surrounds it glorifies recreational violence, binge drinking and elevates brainless steroid riddled sexist 'athletes' to the status of gods.

this all comes from my anger that i live in a country that would give matthew 'matty' johns a second, wait third, hang on sixth chance. how many times are australian league fans willing to look past sexual impropriety because....well the guy is funny? he can make a penis joke AND insult the sexual revolution at the same time. and who said men can't multitask?

though this has larger ramifications in my mind as none of this raises any alarm bells anymore. no one really cares or is even remotely surprised when our great athletes are caught in a hotel room with cocaine and prostitutes! just so long as the police don't lay charges it's all ok. rugby league is perhaps not the only or even worst offender in raising athletes with the emotional range of a teaspoon. but, as i live in new south wales they are all over the media i consume. now i'm not saying that all of the members are like this but, they are happy to play on teams with men who at very worst rape women and on the tamer side strip down to their undies, dance on a table top then drive home with a blood alcohol reading three times the legal limit.

these are the men who are role models to young new south waliens! teaching young boys that if you train real hard and show up every saturday morning at your match you could grow up and get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars. then you can run people down with your car and be famous enough to get away with it. not to mention the way they will look at women. as objects to use as an attractive date to some sort of awards show who really love them for their winning personality, ability to quote episodes of the footy show and not their cash.

there is some 'hope' though. the balmain tigers have implemented etiquette classes for its players. how to ask a question without ending the sentence with a proposition and using unfamiliar words like 'please' and 'thank you'. it is also frowned upon calling a date a 'hoe' and instead telling her she looks pretty and holding a door for her. this isn't in my mind enough, but it is a start. it's a bit like teaching a monkey sign language and how to not throw faeces, difficult. moreover, it is a bit late. by the time these men reach the professional level of the game they aren't likely to change their behaviour. and why should they? they are at the peak of their physical fitness, are rewarded handsomely for that and are getting laid by cheap flooseys. they don't need to change the habit of a life time. not when it's working for them.

the australian rugby leagues institutional sexism needs to be stemmed earlier in these athletes careers and men like matthew johns should not be given an unlimited amount of second chances. the real world doesn't work that way. not for us poor folk at the very least.

15 April, 2010

'the moonlighting effect'....gah its all the 80s fault!

SPOILER ALERT for bones fans, if you don't want to know what happened in this weeks (in america) 100th episode do not read any further.

now that i'm done with the legalities, on with the rant.

after watching this weeks great episode i was left sad and angry. the impassioned bitch session i had with my sister this afternoon has spurred on this post. the fab ep finished with the booth/bones love going the way of the dinosaurs. the possibility of them ending up married in a house in the suburbs with 2.5 children ended in a spectacular car crash of disappointment. g-man booth declaring his love to odd-ball scientist bones was met with a definitive no, on the later character part. fans of the show have jumped on the idea of killing the producer of the show hart hanson for shooting down all their hope and i'll admit i did this to for about an hour or so. that is, right up until i figured out whose fault it REALLY was. moonlighting!

bit of tv history, moonlighting was a show in the late 80s. half way through the shows run gave fans what they wanted. madeline and david having hot hot sex after two years of ust (unresolved sexual tension, you all don't want to know how i know that). this has been largely attributed to the shows declining ratings and the shows eventual cancellation. after this producers have for some reason figured that americans don't want happy couples on their screens. they prefer them moody and well, horney.

there are many MANY examples of this in recent tv shows. mulder and scully are a prime example. the x files creator chris carter was terrified that the show would get cancelled if he put his dynamic duo in a official romantic relationship. even when they did eventually 'hook up' in season 7 it was never clarified and even in the shows season 8 finale is wasn't made clear if scully's son was mulder's also. why is this? is it really all about keeping audiences happy and thus keeping the studio happy? or does no producer have the guts to subvert the norm, have some confidence in their characters and their writers and give the shippers what they want?

now i know this is trivial but it is really starting to piss me off. how many episodes must i watch of house and cuddy make googlie eyes and spew dialogue with barely veiled sexual subtext? EVEN when we all thought house and cuddy had finally done the underpants charleston, it was all a drug addled delusion! but no we are forced into the same dysfunctional cycle season after season. 'common greg yaitanes take a risk! put them together or rip them apart at this stage i no longer care, anything is better than this emotional merry-go-round!

the thing of it is, 'the moonlighting effect' doesn't actually stand up to much serious scrutiny. the reason the show wasn't renewed for a 4th season was because cybill shepherd (madeline) and bruce willis (david) HATED each other. the set was a battle ground by all reports. that and glen gordon caron (the shows creator) is a hack, for gods sake he went on to create medium. eeewwww. no one likes to see patricia arquette employed.

for a longer more eloquent account of television romance check this article out.

10 April, 2010

"fuck off germany", yea i said it, what of it!?

i'm australian, and as such i crave the joy that can only be found in beating other, larger, countries in any sport. the type of sport seriously doesn't even matter. curling, swimming, cricket, base jumping, rugby and/or women's mud wrestling.

still, this need for national pride and gratification seems when pondered for all of 5 seconds slightly weird. i'm not entirely sure where it comes from, but it is rife in this country. we spend millions of dollars each year on making our athletes the best in the world, for what? a few gold medals every four years (that are 92% silver btw), that aren't actually worth much. they might b able to get you a few weatbix tv ads but other than that. who seriously cares!?

this all came from a funny scottish bastard, frankie boyle. who with regards to the upcoming summer olympics in london said, 'they say that the 2012 olympics is going to rekindle english national pride. i mean, for £9.2 billion they could have written "fuck off germany" onto the moon.'. not only is this HILARIOUS because well, germans are still free game to comedians. you never hear people say, 'oh leave the germans alone, the have been through enough!' but also because it speaks to countries motives when hosting and competing in the olympics.

tourism dollars and beating our past foes in synchronised swimming is lets face it, our political leaders real motives. all this celebrating our culture and good will amongst nations is a lot of old bollocks. we need to come to terms with our real motives in australia! we need to stop putting all our time and effort into the idea that we can get some international kudos and self worth from winning a few games or world records.

perhaps, we could put some money into stopping the welfare cycle or hospitals or public schools OR even just give the money to me and see what i come up with. it has got to be better than spending a few millions bucks a year shipping our douche bag cocaine prostitute loving top sports athletes around the world to win at sports that so many of our tax paying citizens don't give a crap about. perhaps we could find some semblance of national identity elsewhere. might keep the bogans off the street at the very least.

08 April, 2010

the strokes....my precious.

now this is bit of a fluffy blogpost. just wanted to 'squee' over the strokes latest australian tour. i have seen this band play twice before and my love for them shows no signs of ebbing away. if you are now going, the strokes? who? what? then you deserve a slap! but let me give you a mini education before i resort to senseless violence.

the amazing american (but we won't hold that against them) rock band was formed initially in 1998 in new york. with julian casablancas (vocals), nick valensi (guitar), albert hammond jr. (guitar), nikolai fraiture (bass) and fabrizo moretti (drums). their very first studio album 'is this is' was released in 2001 and is a masterpiece of radiohead proportions. it could be the mix of old world money and new world american life, but the combo breeds an AMAZING sound.

they are scheduled to play at the byron bay festival, splendour in the grass, this year and have announced one sydney side show in july. it's for some reason at the shit hole horden pavilion. tickets go on sale next monday and for the low low price of $90 you can buy yourself a little bit of modern rock experience!

ALSO, the pic above is my current wallpaper.

07 April, 2010

two heads are better than one.

i've never really been one to believe in the term 'soulmate', it has always seemed just a bit too simplistic. the idea that out of the seven billion people in the world there is only one person out there who is perfect for you is just too insurmountable. the statistical possibility (or rather impossibility) is well, depressing. moreover, there are too many happy couples out there for it to be that black and white.

the other problem i have with the term is the idea that to be with your soulmate is to be complete. as though i'm not a whole person without a romantic partner. now the germiane greer feminist in me is just plain offended by that assertion because it means that once i find a romantic partner i cease to be the person i was before meeting that said person. it's ludicrous! i like being me. being me is fun, i'm not about to change that for regular sex.

still, having said all that i do understand why so many people pay into the idea of there being one perfect partner for them. it's an attractive romantic notion. one that is first spoken of by a very smart man about 2500 years ago. aristocles (or plato) had a very interesting and to be honest mad opinion of the idea. he believed that early man consisted of four arms, four legs and one head with two faces on it. but that a being was far too powerful and the ancient greek god, zeus, the father of all gods, feared such a being and so cut the being in half. the two halves of the one being, now modern man, were forced to spend their entire lives looking for their other half.

now i'm not saying that this isn't mad, it clearly is. but rather, that it is a powerful compunction that we all seem to have. to find that person who 'fits' us and an equal or other half of the whole. one complements our inner and outer strengths whilst tempering our failings or weaknesses. oh i don't know maybe i'm reading far too much into this. or maybe, i'm just another person looking for their 'better half'.

06 April, 2010

foodwink does lee and me.

another sneaky re-blog as my cadbury expose didn't quite pan out. sorry emma, too late now, defs next yr. it unfortunately didn't quite get past the r and d stage (research and development for you non sg1 people).

anyways moving on.... yesterday i was trolling through my favourite blogs and low and behold in my fave food one was a sweet post on my work. how cool is that?! loving LOVING my new job, great atmosphere to dine and work in with awesome people who are really passionate about the things im obsessed with.

foodwink also are a goldmine of local information on the best places for breakfast, lunch and dinner. check their lee and me post here.

02 April, 2010

damn attractive indie kids!

initially i was just going to post about the cool new band i have discovered this week (blood red shoes, check em out they are really easy to like) but after having a little wander through their film clips and finding the one below, i've decided to change direction a bit. if you watch the video clip below you will notice the insane attractiveness of not only the bands members but the other kids involved. this level of indie attractiveness is really starting to piss me off.

now i've not usually got anything against exceedingly hott people, the ones that are my friends are disgustingly nice. still, my problem is with this kind of frakin hottie is their invasion of my eye-line. ALL THE BLOODY TIME! i remember a time when cool musicians, that play(ed) songs that i love, were different and usually had a face like a smashed crab. mick jagger, cool dude, ugly as all hell. aretha franklin, now she needed a lot of room to eat her chicken wings. even matthew bellamy, is a scrawny old man.

but all that seems to have changed, even in the last 5 years. indie kids have now gone from being weirdos with jeans that are far too tight for polite society to cool fashion forward people in the eyes of normal surf shop wearing folk. i started to wonder if this was actually a good thing about 6 months ago. i mean, it is time to question things when big w starts selling $20 skinny jeans. it seems now that anyone with a slightly baggy shirt and a pair of cons (converse) is as indie as pete doherty. buy a $600 pair of shoes, develop a cocaine addiction and hang out with kate moss and then i might allow you entry into the indie cool club.

this all leads me back to the good duo, blood red shoes, they make great music and look fucking shit awesome doing it so props to them. BUT the flip side of this is vanessa amorosi. her latest venture into the indie rock side of video hits pissses me off to no end! this is the woman that not 10 years ago told us to 'shine, shine on shine on'. her songwriting capabilites im afraid have not improved much over the last decade and she has returned to us as her real self. her REAL 'self' is now heavily tattooed and sporting fashion looks ripped straight from 'the satorialist'. eeewwww. making money off looks started by poor university students who spend all their centre link money on designer shoes and smack is just so tacky!

anyway, rant over. check this vid and the band out.