australia, who do you think you are?

over the past few weeks i have given a lot of thought to tomorrows national holiday. australia day, synonymous with bbqs, beers, fake/real flag tattoos and the wife beater. sad really, i have no real inclination for celebration. why? i mean, it's our nations day of celebrating uuuummmm yeah we commemorate the...., well that is to say, there is triple j's hottest 100 and yeah.... ok so i had no idea what the day was meant to be about and i assume not many others do either so i researched. the day is in an effort to pay tribute to the arrival of the first fleet in sydney cove in 1788, when the british hoisted the union jack and claimed the land under their sovereignty. wooooohhh!

this act is the reason why various aboriginal people declared the day, 'invasion day'. seems fair enough really but, my problem isn't with history so much as it is with the present. the day is seen as nothing more than a bank holiday in the sun and an excuse to get completely trashed and bitch about angus and julia stone's song 'jet plane' reaching the number 1 position of the hottest 100 (yest that's my ominous prediction btw). not that there is anything wrong with such past times, especially the last, but it does indicate how this country is missing something. a sense of national identity.

another criticism of the indifference that occurs on australia day is the fact that it falls during the school holidays. some teachers believe that due to this children are not as engaged as they are with other national holidays, like anzac day, and have no real concept of the importance of such an event. this lack of engagement in my mind has cemented the one dimensional hedonistic self image of australians. we like sport, having a laugh with a drink our hand and chilling on the beach. surely, there is more to us than that?

be it a result of our countrys short history, or our connection to britain and the united states, we haven't been given a chance to really branch out on our own. no civil wars or wars of independence, we haven't had the opportunity to grow as a nation by ourselves. not that wars are good things, but they do see change and a rallying of people behind a cause. we are still a member of the commonwealth because we seemingly can't be bothered or want to become independent knowing if we do, we can't win gold medals in sport at the commonwealth games. sad really.

getting back to my original gripe. australian tattoos have become a bogan trait. either through un-originality or a lack of understanding many aussies will proudly show off their 'patriotic' ink whilst subtly trying to say they have gone through pain for their noble homeland. now THAT pisses me off! mostly because i'm quite convinced that they have no idea what it means to be an australian. i know this, because i'm not even sure what it means anymore. but, having 'australia' or the apparently 'un-british' part of the flag (the southern cross) tattooed with abandon across your ass is about as offensive to me as burning the flag right in front of my eyes.

ok alright so, maybe it isn't all that bad, but it no longer posses the ideals it once encompassed. a symbol of perceived patriotism and egalitarianism was hijacked by racist thugs and well, the brand seems to have been irreparably damaged. blogger henry stones described the average southern cross tattoo holder in a smh article as possessing many traits, including: "you call rum and cokes 'rumbos' and you drink a minimum of two cartons a month"; "you have started a conversation regarding matty johns' innocence" and "you have a rat's tail".

perhaps a bit harsh, still it is concerning. this is how we show we care for our country? widespread apathy i fear will be the theme for tomorrow and whilst being wholly depressing is also scares the bejesus out of me. what's going to happen when the day comes we have to stand up for what we as a nation believe in, and can't think of a single thing worth fighting for?

banned from wikipedia!

i have been banned from editing pages on wikipedia for some kind of slander infringement. seems fair, i probably deserved it. BUT the fact of it is, i have absolutely no idea what i did. i went back through my blog posts and facebook status' looking for what exactly i was doing that day that might have pushed me too far and caused me to lash out on wiki. NOTHING!

One piece short of a puzzle?

so now i have been forced to take out my abject rage on the encyclopaedia website. i'm not silly though, won't be getting my ip address banned again.... lets just say, that people at the university of wollongong probably won't be able to edit pages for about a month. i do have to admit, i did find out i had been banned when i intended to go on a page and call someone a slut. but, i didn't get the chance. i mean i did today, still not the point. i would like to call some idiot keyboardist verve-frontman-loving person whatever names i like, from the comfort of my own home.

the biggest problem is, i can't even find out what i initially did to get banned. my conduct is not up for negotiation. it's like living under a fascist regime, except online and it doesn't really matter. i have found a way around the issue and begun my 10 step plan to destroy wikipedia. at the very least, i may mildly irritate them. still, not sure where to start. pick a sweet spot and poke it with a hard stick seems apt. any suggestions? anyone you really dislike or maybe someone you do like that you wish for me to make up a whimsical lie about?

suggestions please! i need my archduke-franz-ferdinand-first-strike to really kick off the annoying.

the commonwealth games, the olympics retarded half sister!

if you are a member of a post-english empire country you may know that the commonwealth games are on. its all very unexciting. not a sports fan myself, spent the nrl grand final asleep. still, there is one thing i have noticed that quite often occurs at events like this, and that is the shitness of most national anthems. australia's really is rubbish, but i am comforted by the fact that new zealands is worse.

although, there is one that is quite clearly worse and to add insult to injury they are pretty good at sports now. 'god save our gracious queen'? oh please, does she really need that much saving? she does live in a big house behind barb-wire fences with guys with guns standing in front of that. now, that is one fucking saved queen! why does she need 'her people' to stand on platforms and sing to her good health? maybe she should be put in peril, send her off to afghanistan in her pyjamas. THEN maybe then the british would have something to sing about.

so this isn't my joke, can't remember where i saw it. but, it stuck with me and today made me angry all over again. do not even get me started on the pointlessness of flags....

wine wine wine.

there are many things in this world that me and my father do not agree on, but thankfully wine is not one of them. there really is nothing wrong with wine. i actually think sometimes that homeless wineos have the right idea.... ok so maybe not, but they do get to drink an inordinate amount of wine, the amount of wine i wish i could drink were it not for the sheer fact that my uni grades would plummet and i would probably get fired from my job from either being pissed or recently pissed.

however, i digress. red wine is the best wine. there really are no down sides, aside from the yumminess and being drunk the only thing that could even approach being more exciting is the lack of stress when buying a bottle. if you have stress about picking a bottle to consume then, well you are an idiot. there is no other perishable good that has such a simple code for its scale of shit to awesome. THE PRICE. its right there, on the bottle following the $ sign.

don't worry, i'll explain. you walk into a bottle shop, its full of sluts in ugly shoes (oh so yes, maybe i am retelling my recent trip into wollongong for alcohol) and you stand in front of the 'shiraz' section. a few hundred bottles stair back at you. which to choose, which to choose? hmmmmm. now here, is where my stress just fades away. a cheap bottle of wine, lets say under $10 in australia is RUBBISH. but if you want to marinate some brain cells, a good choice because you can get 2. now above $10 is my price range. i like a $13 to $15 bottle. affordable, red, and most importantly will not taste like lighter fluid. from here up i'm not really interested, but they get even better.

the more expensive the better the wine. it really is that simple. all this fetishisation of wine is bourgeoisie wank. i blame the french! i also love the french for this. they do pleasure well and have inserted a handy system for wine goodness.... so thank you france.

stay tuned to my next thrilling blogpost regarding my love of cheese.

group work anger!

right, so i have been quite absent from here of late and it is to some probably not surprising that the issue that brings me back is one that has sparked an angry fire-breathing dragon within me. university group work! now, i have in the past 3 years somehow managed to avoid this situation i now find myself in. mostly, my experience has been very positive largely due to the wonderous brain that lives in alex's head. now though, my faith in the intelligence of humanity has been shaken to its core and where else, but in the graduating class of the university of wollongong's communications and media studies class. as a result, i have come to the conclusion that this exercise is not in an effort to prepare students for communal projects in the work place but rather, a communist plot to weed out the people in a group (like me) that will just go, 'awh frak it, i'll do it myself!'.

my group, made up almost entirely of not just stupid but lazy students has gone from mildly irritating me to full blown psychotic rage. as someone once said, "a fail mark doesn't mean your stupid. a pass mark means your stupid. a fail means you are stupid AND lazy!". i don't mean to diminish the work one member of the group has contributed but for fraks sake, i built a freaking website for these people and haven't received so much as a, 'huh cool' from them.

the final straw to this absurd debacle came today, when one girl announced to the group (via email mind you) that she wouldn't even be attending the tutorial for the submission of the assignment. ok so yes, this is the student that asked a tutorial full of second year politics students, what democracy was. then to add further insult to her obviously injured brain, if iran and afghanistan were, "essentially, like the same country". age isn't an excuse for everything.

so, what to do? submit the assignment, that i have done a vast majority of, and hope for a decent mark? the problem is i am so far beyond caring about the media studies degree. not that i don't think it is both fascinating and important but, come on i don't want a job within its correlated industry, my group members do, why the hell should i bother.

but, i have bothered and now i will tell you why. there aren't many opportunities outside of internet comment bashing, when one has the compulsion, nay duty, to smack down someone they hate with every fibre of their being. in a way that caitlin has termed, 'oxbridge style'. essentially, this means veiling rather horrible insults with a vocabulary that one would find within the halls of academic excellence, oxford. think stephen fry insulting catholics and/or david mitchell attacking with angry logic the idea of fastidious male grooming. yes, they both went to cambridge.... but, you must concede my point.

oh my point, right. for this assignment there is a pretty exciting up-side. the opportunity to bitch about my group 'colleagues' in a manner that, i think, will not only tickle my tutor with its unreserved anger/ honestly but also make me feel a lot better about this entirely unsatisfying experience.

as such, i have decided to begin my 1000 word academic rant with, "during the past few weeks i have discovered that, copernicus was wrong about the earth being the centre of the universe; as clearly each member of my group believes that this right is reserved solely for each of them. were it not for my ability to discern this fact early on, in the creation of this assignment, i feel that all we would have to show today is a quote from 'jersey shore' regarding the state of politics in the world. this is not to say that my group members believe solely what they are told about the wider world simply from one reality television 'star' they are big believers in getting a wider perspective. kim kardashians blogpost on barak obama was considered and aptly rejected. laziness was also an issue. now, im not saying my group didn't contribute. however, a link to julia gillard's twitter account in my mind should not be considered indept research. simply put, my groups lazy approach to this assignment made me look like roadrunner, compared to their not only slow but, wildly incompetent wile e coyote."

what do we think? too harsh?

so this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.

apologies all for my unplanned sabbatical, but my uni and work load is kicking my butt. still, after the disappointment of the recent election i feel the need to vent.

now, i vote labor/greens and as a result have a certain level of moral egotism that goes with such a decision. not that all left of centre voters are this way, but considering that gillard may loose this election because 3 ex national party independents get to decide for 14 million people i think my piety is somewhat warranted.

firstly, vote for whoever you want. this is how democracy (usually) works. but, it is a decision that should be taken seriously and requires a citizen to actively pick one side or the other in the two party preferred system, for a reason beyond disliking a ministers hair cut. if this is the case then you are who i'm angry with.

my parents vote conservatively. this is a problem on so many levels for me but they are both small business owners and need a stronger economy for the immediate future and also as they near (not too near) retirement age. many a conservative (abbott nlp) voter has pitched this argument to me under the reasoning, that rich people know how to deal with their own money and as a result know how to look after yours, the tax payer. all fine. still, my wondering continues, are we so bad off now? australia is doing the best out of the entire worlds advanced economies, in unemployment levels, inflation and interest rates.... krudd did us a solid with stimulus. maybe, the labor party aren't so working class anymore. i heard gillard even went to university.

still, i realised this week as i drove home from sydney (passing cars and thinking 1 out of 2 people voted stupidly for abbott) that, maybe the reason conservative voters are able to look past the partys racism, religious fear mongering, wacky science climate change denying proposed policy is because they vote for themselves and their own backpockets. there is something very wrong with this. when i voted on saturday my mind wasn't on how this act of civil duty would benefit me, but rather how it would enrich the entire nation. how a national broadband network (without internet censorship) could benefit rural and poorer communities, how mining companies could be held accountable for environmental problems and how conflicts engaged in by our armed forced could be helped with more aid to the defence department.

maybe, i'm just less pragmatic because i have the luxury of being young and idealistic. i love australia. i'm a patriot. voting is something that not everyone has the right to in this world and here people don't take part fully in the process. we call the system, 'broken' and refuse to immerse ourselves in information and make a decision, but rather rely on trends and catchy slogans to make the decision for us.

if nothing else this election has shown that people are scared. the gfc, climate change and pesky non-white immigrants are invading our small isolated corner of the world. instead of hope and a 'yes we can!' attitude australia's 5.8% swing to a howard henchman shows we would rather turn back the clock 4 years and undo the mistake of 2007.

it's depressing, i never thought i would see the day when the american public is smarter than 14 million free australians. this is the country that voted for george bush.... twice.

sorry america, i don't think we should be friends.

it has been pointed out to me recently that, in the past, here on my blog, i have done a lot of america(n) bashing. i feel the need to reiterate that i'm always right about these things but still, not entirely the point.

the reason that i have been waving the 'america is screwed up' or the 'some american people are really stupid' flags that always gets be angry is because as an australian, they are our biggest international allies and more importantly, our protector. this is the country that we negotiate with and give stuff to (like free-trade agreements and soldiers for their wars) and in return expect them to do stuff for us.

this is a country that can't even sort out their own problems and we trust them with the most important of things. i don't think it is too must to ask that they try harder. maybe, i'm too idealistic or naive about how the world works and even if i am, i don't think that that is a bad thing. i suppose, i'm worried that we put far too much trust in a nation that ignored their own people when a cyclone struck new orleans. ignored! as in, pretended it didn't happen. the white house's reaction to the incident was putting their fingers in their ears and going, 'la la la la la'. the national guard didn't go and aid the people of the city you know, because they had green day tickets and/or more likely were busy fighting in iraq. another rant for another day. i just have a serious fear that if this country is unable to aid their own citizens then i doubt they will help us out when north korea comes calling with bazookas and surface-to-air missiles.

we should be scared. i know i am. eek! still, this is a country that with a rich and noble history full of men and women who not only knew what the right thing actually was but, fought hard for what they believed in. i hold out hope that they will pull their shit together, then i watch a joan and melissa rivers special and despair!

julia gillard, will you be my prime minister?

the lovely kathryn said that yesterday and i think it perfectly sums up how i, as a card carrying labour party member, feel about the massive shift within the federal party that took place last night and then today. two days is all it took for mr. kevin rudd to get shived and replaced by his deputy.

i do have two concerns. one, that my blog post not two days ago might have had a hand in bringing down krudd. ha! just kidding but, in the span of 12 hours australia has been witness to a seminal event in our political and cultural history. today we have our first female prime minister in julia gillard, an atheist one at that. 'hooray!', i say. feels like all my dreams have been answered. still, a lady prime minister? australia has been, compared to the rest of the world, conservative on the subject. what were we all so worried about? that if we elected (or not, in this case) a female pm that one day, in the future, she will snap because she is having a bad hair day? she lives with a hairdresser people! don't worry about it.

this leads me to my second point. as far as i'm concerned, concentrating on gillard as the first female prime minister is a good thing. this is a good day for feminists and people who believe in equality within the workplace and in this case, the political arena. what i DO have a problem with is all the unnecessary crap that the media has begun to bring up because she is a woman. so she isn't married, doesn't have children, favours a nice pants suit and has red hair.... exactly how are these things essential when crafting policy and/or communicating with the public?

it shows a desperate opposition leader, when his point of attack is that the new pm can't relate to families because she isn't a mother. conveniently forgetting, that she is a daughter, sister and aunt. as far as the media's impending attack on her looks well, lets all remember the women that have previously walked in their sensible heels as leaders of their country, before the new australian pm. though, not thatcher. i'm still pretty sure she is actually a man in drag. isabel peron, golda meir, sirimavo bandaranaike, gro harlem brundtland, benazir bhutto, kim campbell, edith cresson, luisa diogo, helen clark, michelle bachelet, cristina fernandez de kirchner.... the list goes on and on. these are names of women who were either prime ministers or presidents and have lead their country since the first woman was elected to such a position, in sri lanka, 1960.

the rest of the world seems, quite rightly, comfortable in choosing a woman to lead them. to choose how their hard earned tax dollars are spent, are represented overseas, that public health and schools are well cared for etc etc etc. but first, if this person is a woman we must judge her outfit and connect her ability to run a country with her capacity to have unprotected sex and then 9 months later push a small human out of her vagina. are the two things really connected?

the answer is no. the liberal thinking people of australia (aka. voters with a soul) should be applauding this move for a more stable leader in julia gillard. a leader that has tony abbott asking his aids how exactly you spell, 'capitulate'.

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for a far more eloquent account/opinion of these recent events check out the blog siesta on the pilar. you know, in case my ramblings didn't make that much sense.

this is australia!

not america! and definitely not sparta. though some days i do get this strong urge to kick certain people into a big bottomless pit. but, i digress...

in my daily stroll through internet news sites i came across something so deeply disturbing that it has awoken a fierce angry fire breathing dragon within me....and not the cute puff kind! lateline is a goldmine, full of wonderful political commentary and today it did not disappoint.

check this video out!

now, i'm not going to say that christian's don't deserve a voice, they do. i'm just not entirely sure that we should be going the americanised route on this. in god we trust? please. have any of them read the bible, god is vengeful. he killed more people in the old testament that anyone else in the entire book. not someone i am personally happy for my governing officials to be taking advice and guidance from with regards to taxation, immigration and environmental reforms. the guy got a little pissed off one day and FLOODED THE EARTH!

i'm not completely stupid, i do know that the whole jesus/god/bible deal is a metaphor blah blah blah and as i was raised catholic, i'm sure i have some latent rage regarding the subject of organised religion. you believe what you believe. i don't agree with you. the world keeps on a turning. politicians are no exception to this rule, they can have beliefs but i don't want to see them begin to seep into day-to-day policy making decisions.

then again, i conceed that they already have. western culture is drenched in christian morality. stealing is bad, adultery is bader and murder is the badest. in other cultures, with a different religious morality, that order is different. for example in some islamic states adultery receives a harsher punishment than murder. neither is right or wrong, it's just how it is. but, this morality is so imbedded in our societies that it will never be removed. most importantly, i don't like faith being used as a tool for self promotion.

as krudd and tony 'budgie smugglers' abbott freak out over how close the next federal election is going to be, they are willing to do almost anything to get a few more votes. if that means parading their religious beliefs out for everyone to see, then so be it. i really do worry about this 1. because people are eating this crap up and 2. THIS IS NOT AMERICA! that is just not how we roll here and also, well those idiots voted for bush (twice) who essentially made all his decisions with 'gods' council. it really is like talking to your imaginary friend, which is fine i had an imaginary friend when i was 2 years old, BUT these men are world leaders!

please take jesus/god out of the equation when you vote. god doesn't direct these men and if he does 'talk' to them then we have a much bigger problem. 'cause everybody knows, when you talk to god it's prayer but if god talks back then you probably have schizophrenia.

flying by the seat of my pants probably isn't going to work anymore....

i'm back baby dolls! and after a hard day of examing, shopping and then drinking, then shopping again i felt my blog calling to me. so here we go.

right, i had my very first psychology exam today and to say that i was scared is a massive understatement. still, i have also never studied that much in my entire life. seriously! my hsc preparation consisted of me watching the x files and well, compared to psych a media degree is a cake walk! sodoku is harder than writing a bcm essay and getting a credit!

this mornings exam was insane! 115 multiple choice questions covering 13 weeks of course content that introduces students to over 125 years of psychoanalytic theory and practice! so in a desperate ploy to, you know, not fail i studied my little heart out. now this need to not fail has never existed within me the entire 3 years i have been at uni! what can i say i'm a masochist. but after failing a 7% quiz rather spectacularly earlier this session it freaked me out so much that i picked up a pen turned away from my precious blog, facebook, twitter, etsy, gmail and hotmail accounts and actually cracked a book.

now the biggest problem is, after the exam was over i felt absolutely no relief. none! if anything, i actually felt worse. yes the session is now over but, i seriously have no idea if i passed todays exam. i have no frame of reference when it comes to academic success with an exam that attacks (yes attacks) key underlying knowledge. i may have failed. i knew some answers, didn't know others and was unsure of a fair few.

oooh well, will just have to wait and see. nothing more i can do now. if i fail, i re do the class. expensive life lesson, but one i probably needed to learn.

ALSO, if anyone comments saying, 'whatever will be, will be' i swear to god i may have to kick you in the face. except when you say it mum, then.... sure it helps.

soccer v football. not that it matters here.

i seem to be missing some sort of 'australian gene' that causes me to give a crap about sport. i am also not ashamed to say that at 4.30am yesterday morning i was dead to the world and having a lovely time in dream land with prince william. not up and cheering on our national world cup team to defeat against the germans. what a spectacular defeat.

so there really isn't much more to this post other than my expression of abject disappointment in my fellow australians. we don't play soccer! we play cricket and rugby and even at one stage were the best team in the world in those sports. seriously, someone who bothered to get up (and no, it doesn't count if you were up all night drunk off ya ass) and watch the early morning match needs to explain to me the off side rule. because, if you can't then why the hell did you bother!?

also, on a side note victoria beckham is a waste of very little space. i really hate her! she is rich and famous and skinny but hey, have you ever seen her smile...? she is nothing to aspire to, she doesn't contribute to society at all. moreover, i'm pretty sure she has had THAT much work done that when in fact she does die her corpse will probably never decay! little bit like a cheeseburger....

fur coats....yay? or nay?

i personally have nothing against vegetarians per se. still, the wankery ones who do it for stupid reasons or aren't consistent do seem to grate on my nerves! there are many good reasons to become a vego. health reasons, it is proven to be a much healthier life style. environmental reasons, its been reported that the run off from abattoirs causes more damage to the environment than driving a large fourwheel drive. animal rights, concerns that animals are unfairly treated in an inhumane way.

all are good reasons, i suppose. still, seems like a lot of hard work for animals that were they smarter, quicker or endangered wouldn't get eaten. although, i do eat free range chickens and eggs but that's only because i think they should at least get a bit of a run around before i eat them. but, all this comes down to was the douche bag environmental wankers handing out flyers for the ethical treatment of animals at uni a few weeks back.

cows have feelings and are bad for the environment (methane, run off, farming practices) and eating them is also murder. all fine, all true and thus, fair enough. BUT whilst wearing leather boots and drinking bottled water (that is also bad for the environment) they did nothing but piss me off with their inconsistent eco posturing! you are either all in or not at all. but, to me if you sit on the fence and pick and choose what you like and don't like about a cause, that is worse. even if you do do that don't go around bitching to me about tofu and saving the bloody whales!

so quickly, on the topic of fur. i think they are pretty. i am definitely not against the industry or people who wear them. but if you do wear one and then not eat meat you are a hypocrite and i hope you get eaten by a shark!

i'm the mascot of an evil corporation!

bart simpson said that, but still, doesn't make it untrue. he was talking about mickey mouse while wearing a black bra on his head but, it has got me thinking again about the choices we make when we buy things. business ethics seem to simply not exist with regard to large corporations like disney. they don't care who they trample on for the sake of economic expansion and simple bottom line profits. so, why should we?

well if the economic crisis has taught us anything, it is that we as consumers do have a collective power. we stop buying cars = general motors goes under. we eat at home to conserve cash and mcdonalds posts much lower annual profits. the first example is true, but somehow, the second is not. this year mcdonalds in complete contrary to their sales, posted profits that exceeded the last two financial years. how is this possible, i hear you ask? like other big companies they cut costs wherever they could to keep their ceo in a nice new jaguar.

a lot of us, i'm sure, have worked as teenagers for large transnational companies for disgusting levels of minimum wage to keep us in new billabong threads and the latest album from britney spears (not that i'm projecting with these examples). at this age you don't even think about what you are contributing to these companies, like mcdonalds, you are immersed in your first real step into the big world of consumerism. ignorance might be bliss but that doesn't make it ok.

if you choose to see a disney movie or wear nike shoes then you have to take some responsibility for the business practices of these companies. you might never see the people, who work for almost nothing in indonesian and chinese sweat shops but, you continue to keep them enslaved. consumer culpability.

i have always managed to somehow ignore this fact. i work, i get paid, i buy shoes, they fit, i look cool and nothing else really enters into it. money for product. it's a simple enough trade. it isn't until you look into where the shoes come from that the little voice in your head (mine is starting to sound like you rob, damn you!) starts to make you feel bad about the decisions you have made.

vegetarianism seems to me quite similar. still, it makes me sad that we live in a world where more people care about animal cruelty than human cruelty. politics text books have told me over and over again that globalisation produces clear winners and losers. the divide between rich and poor is expanding as quickly as globalisation is. just because you are a winner doesn't mean you have to ignore the trail of destruction (losers) you have left in your buying frenzied wake.

next time you have a happy meal i suggest you contemplate your impending heart attack AND the 5 year old child in jordon working for 2 cents and hour. would you like to work for that?

if you want to read into this further, i can't recommend enough that you check out 'the national labour committee' website here. they hope to inform people and 'put a human face on the global economy'. also the picture is by british street artist banksy. his work hopes to make people more socially and politically aware. he is amazing. check it out here.

question time: the only thing that can make me that angry and bored at the same time.

now, don't tell anyone but i do on occasion partake in a nice afternoon of not wearing pants and yelling at the television. that might sound just a little bit bad but there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. here we go, this is hard, hi my name is michelle and i'm addicted to question time. wow, that wasn't so bad. but, seriously i really like watching politicians yelling at each other across a room about the politics of the day. does sometime worry me that these people control the country but then julia gillard speaks and i feel a warm glow of security again.

this is unquestionably the greatest thing on free to air television. it is the only thing that can make you absolutely furious and bored at the exact same time. not sure, what that says about me as a normal well rounded individual but hey if i let things like that bother me i would never have gone to bulgaria. which actually in hind-sight wasn't a good idea.

i digress. i do have a sordid voting past. i did vote for john howard (twice eek, please don't lynch me) but i was young and he was good for comedians morale. the latest federal liberal party re-shuffle has me scared. i might have voted for malcolm turnbull, he was quite left for a conservative, and seemed to be somewhat sane. BUT, tony abbott has this bizarre ability to both terrify and anger me without even opening his mouth. then when he does speak you can't not picture him in his speedos.

vomit! this is not america, this is not a country that elects someone because they can lift the heavy thing. i wasn't that worried about his ability to win the next election against our current prime minister but some very smart people are telling me that some aussies are buying what el doucho abbott is selling. tax hikes, outrageous policy shaped by jesus, internet sensorship comparable to china's, no national broadband, taking money away from school kids and giving it to their pals the mining industry. oh and lets not forget 'work choices' that i now believe is 'abbott's box of arse magic'. i could be wrong there but still, if the man had his way secular australian society would become as insane as americas 'in god we trust'. where one third of the population believing in an actual devil (with horns and a tail). that is true by the way. the country of operaology....

then there is julie bishop. i think she might just be the wicked witch of the west. and not the fuzzy singing one of 'wicked'. keep half expecting her to turn green and start running around the house of representatives cackling and calling for her flying monkeys. though, if the liberal party gets into power in the next election the witch will probably have a sexy new hat and her monkeys out of work. then again, abbott looks a bit monkey-like so maybe not.

internet bulling is really really bad. that is, unless you win!

a rather public facebook slinging match occurred yesterday between an acquaintance of mine and an extremely undignified girl with the emotional range of a teaspoon. as usual i inserted myself and littered the argument, with a fun turn of phrase and pop culture references. it wasn't so much that this girl, lets call her 'chase', was a nasty piece of work and very rude to all involved, she was. but, it was more that she kept ending her sentences with a preposition that really bugged me. moreover, she had no punctuation and kept using the world 'civilised'. i think this was because it has 3 syllables and she thought that the use of it made her seem smart. she then proceeded to leave out vowels and consonants of innocuous words like 'lik'.

i know i am a bit of a grammar snob, but this comes from the fact that, i have terrible grammar and spelling (as wados can attest too). still, i get away with blue murder by RUNNING WORDS THROUGH SPELL CHECK. it really isn't that hard. how do you expect anyone to listen to your argument when you spell like you are in kindergarten? a slow kindergartener at that.

it's not that being unable to spell correctly makes you a bad person. everyone is free to write however they like. but, what someone should tell chase is that when you comment on facebook or send an email full of misspellings and errant apostrophes people judge you; and by people, i mean me. i don't think this is just arrogant snobbery on my part because if you were a bad writer and not great at spelling then (like me) you would check the contents of you comment before sending. also, this is a public space. people of the public read your comments. the real life equivalent is going out wearing a bright pink jumper with an alien on it and then expecting people to take you seriously.

still, this fetishisation of language/spelling does piss me off to no end. it isn't something that should be trendy! mostly because it is simply useful. then again, i would rather be judged by my ability to use the english language than return to the days of yore when the arbitrary measure of a human's worth was how many animals they could kill or their talents with a pastry bag.

i think 'chase' ought to check out a nice little video i have found for her. it outlines some of the mistakes she made. you know, so when she picks a fight with someone next time she will at least be able to say, 'i couldn't care less!' correctly. other snappy phrases are also included in this video so she won't, in the future, speak like a rhesus monkey on speed!

also, i am sure there are many grammatical and general language mistakes in this rant. as such, i would urge you to point them out. it's how i learn. except wados, you have done enough for this post my friend.

one bandwagon i won't be jumping on.

james cameron is to blame but it really isn't just his fault. 3d is the most absurd crazy this decade. i really must be missing something, i just do not see the fascination.

i live my entire life in 3d, why in the world would i want to go and escape my boring life only be forced to wear unattractive glasses and have it seem as though spears are being thrown at me? this anger has come from the latest news on the 3d front, 3d tv. is anyone really going to buy these and sit at home watching backyard blitz in blue and red glasses going, 'it really feels as though you are in their backyard!'? you know, because you don't have one of those.....wait....

it also isn't even that great. to be honest the whole experience left me feeling distinctly queazy. caution 3d may cause you to look like a loser and motion sickness. though, i do have to admit i really love this picture. the lady at the front looks like she is having a gay old time.

why wollongong sucks.

now, i have always been a lover of wollongong since i moved here and it really wasn't until today that i started hating on it. been missing my friends that (selfishly) moved away to have lives and uni careers outside of the south coast but i have never felt it more than today. the lovely and talented brian chase (from the yeah yeah yeahs) is playing a free lunchtime gig at the uni bar and no one here seems to care. strike one wollongong.

he is wonderful and a member of one of my fave and easily coolest bands in the world and people here are going, brian who? for shame! also, i had to park today almost in freaking figtree! was late for class when a douche bag wearing a volcolm shirt saying 'your mum is my other ride' called me an indie wanker, for no reason. wtf i wasn't even wearing or doing anything weird. strike two wollongong!

i was ready to go back to bed at this stage and in hind sight probably should have!

one more strike and you are out, to use my newly acquired baseball knowledge! gota say if this happens again i'm going to have to go on a killing spree and cull the area after an extensive music and fashion quiz/poll. failure means death! you have been warned.

but, like all things there is a good side to wollongong. work is fun! but, when you're sick and grumpy all the tedious tiny annoying things jump into focus. i'm sure it's the universes way of keeping you on your toes.

i hate you, james cameron!

what a hack! i hate him to the exact same degree that i love maggie. ooh yea think about that next time you make a film! as one of the 5 people in the world who haven't seen 'avahontas' you will never get any of my money you idea stealing arse! that is all.

i'm a scared and you should be too.

so before i hook you into this post with my lyrical style of 'writing' please be warned that this post does require some extra reading. a bit like an arts university tutorial, if you don't read at least a few paragraphs of the referred reading you may not get what i'm going on about. like many of my other angry rants this logical one came from the big brained amazing man david mitchell.

have a mini look at his guardian column here and then check back for my own take on this bizarre turn of event. aaannnddd BREAK!

welcome back, so my problem with this is rather self-concerning. i post crap all the time. my facebook status updates as some of you may know are a myriad of threatening physical violence mixed with just general insanity. what if i 'accidentally' (or more like purposely) have a bit of a vent and end up unemployed and fined like poor ole paul chambers? look there he is....what a muppet!

ok so yea, he did threaten to blow up an airport but COME ON, it clearly wasn't a genuine threat as he did say he was going to do it in 'a week or so'. are al qaeda really that hard up for ideas for terrorist attacks? then why, to add insult to injury, would they then go to all of the trouble of planning to blow up a tiny airport and then POST IT ON TWITTER! for gods sake this is ridiculous and i am really now concerned that if one day i say the wrong thing i will get arrested.

i have as a result joined the wonderful website that aims to protect the rights of bloggers and promote fair and sane online law. the electronic frontier foundation (eff), aims to protect users "freedoms in the networked world when they come under attack, the eff is the first line of defence. eff broke new ground when it was founded in 1990 - well before the internet was on most peoples radar - and continues to confront cutting-edge issues defending free speech, privacy, innovation, and consumer rights today. from the beginning, eff has championed the public in every critical battle affecting digital rights."

if you blog, tweet or even facebook i can not recommend enough that you check their site out. know your rights and keep saying whatever the bloody hell you like.

edit!

just a quick angry edit! i found out yesterday that the new smoking tax is NOT 2.5% but is in actual fact 25%. TWENTY FIVE PERCENT!!! this sucks! do you have an idea how much more food i am not going to be able to eat to balance that deficit?! today i bought a 20 pack for $17.24! when i asked the lovely young man at the bp service station if that was just for one pack, he looked at me as though i confessed to eating babies and simply replied 'yes'. i only want to smoke! for gods sake i don't do drugs i hardly even drink and i'm treated like a social outcast!

well this is it! i am now going to do something. not sure what that something is but lets put it this way if ole malcolm turnbull was still the leader of the opposition party i would totally have voted for him! skrew you krudd! i hope you get attacked by hot scones on a regular basis!