group work anger!

right, so i have been quite absent from here of late and it is to some probably not surprising that the issue that brings me back is one that has sparked an angry fire-breathing dragon within me. university group work! now, i have in the past 3 years somehow managed to avoid this situation i now find myself in. mostly, my experience has been very positive largely due to the wonderous brain that lives in alex's head. now though, my faith in the intelligence of humanity has been shaken to its core and where else, but in the graduating class of the university of wollongong's communications and media studies class. as a result, i have come to the conclusion that this exercise is not in an effort to prepare students for communal projects in the work place but rather, a communist plot to weed out the people in a group (like me) that will just go, 'awh frak it, i'll do it myself!'.

my group, made up almost entirely of not just stupid but lazy students has gone from mildly irritating me to full blown psychotic rage. as someone once said, "a fail mark doesn't mean your stupid. a pass mark means your stupid. a fail means you are stupid AND lazy!". i don't mean to diminish the work one member of the group has contributed but for fraks sake, i built a freaking website for these people and haven't received so much as a, 'huh cool' from them.

the final straw to this absurd debacle came today, when one girl announced to the group (via email mind you) that she wouldn't even be attending the tutorial for the submission of the assignment. ok so yes, this is the student that asked a tutorial full of second year politics students, what democracy was. then to add further insult to her obviously injured brain, if iran and afghanistan were, "essentially, like the same country". age isn't an excuse for everything.

so, what to do? submit the assignment, that i have done a vast majority of, and hope for a decent mark? the problem is i am so far beyond caring about the media studies degree. not that i don't think it is both fascinating and important but, come on i don't want a job within its correlated industry, my group members do, why the hell should i bother.

but, i have bothered and now i will tell you why. there aren't many opportunities outside of internet comment bashing, when one has the compulsion, nay duty, to smack down someone they hate with every fibre of their being. in a way that caitlin has termed, 'oxbridge style'. essentially, this means veiling rather horrible insults with a vocabulary that one would find within the halls of academic excellence, oxford. think stephen fry insulting catholics and/or david mitchell attacking with angry logic the idea of fastidious male grooming. yes, they both went to cambridge.... but, you must concede my point.

oh my point, right. for this assignment there is a pretty exciting up-side. the opportunity to bitch about my group 'colleagues' in a manner that, i think, will not only tickle my tutor with its unreserved anger/ honestly but also make me feel a lot better about this entirely unsatisfying experience.

as such, i have decided to begin my 1000 word academic rant with, "during the past few weeks i have discovered that, copernicus was wrong about the earth being the centre of the universe; as clearly each member of my group believes that this right is reserved solely for each of them. were it not for my ability to discern this fact early on, in the creation of this assignment, i feel that all we would have to show today is a quote from 'jersey shore' regarding the state of politics in the world. this is not to say that my group members believe solely what they are told about the wider world simply from one reality television 'star' they are big believers in getting a wider perspective. kim kardashians blogpost on barak obama was considered and aptly rejected. laziness was also an issue. now, im not saying my group didn't contribute. however, a link to julia gillard's twitter account in my mind should not be considered indept research. simply put, my groups lazy approach to this assignment made me look like roadrunner, compared to their not only slow but, wildly incompetent wile e coyote."

what do we think? too harsh?

a mind of one's own?

ok, so sorry for being so very slack of late but i do have a good reason. i have been staring at this post for 3 days trying to work out what it actually is and what i'm trying to say. it had the ideas, i think, to be one of my best ever but, alas, i don't think it's going to work out.

earlier this week, i began reading a book that has been sitting in my mini library forever. virginia woolfe's seminal non-fiction work, a room of one's own. in this short novel, originally 2 speeches, she outlines her views on women, fiction and the things that are required for great literary work. but, it is more than that. it is a post-world war 1 depiction of the plight of women throughout history up to that point.

so many things in this book got me thinking. perhaps most significantly, the way men saw women as far beneith them and not just intellectually but also, emotionally, spiritually and culturally insignificant. the concept of the work is that, 'a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction'. i began this adventure into early 20th century feminism expecting her to slander men, call them idiots and all female writers exceptional thinkers and people. this is far from the case and, i think, the reason why it will continue to influence not only the way i write on here but also, what it means to be a woman today. with the relative freedom to aspire to be whatever i choose.

this leads me to my second point. woolfe's main point in giving these speeches to young women who had only just begun to explore their new found access to education at a university level was to push them to understand this right (one she was not afforded) and also, their responsibility in paving the way for future female writers. she gives immense credit to the likes of jane austin, george eliot and the bronte sisters, as brilliant women who not only dared to write within their own styles but, who wrote in some cases exceptionally well. these women inspired woolfe and as a result she, i believe, inspired a generation of newly emancipated women who now influence the writers of today.

freedom? check. education? check. money? check. all requirements for the ability to choose your own fate. this got me considering how i feel about these three things, that i had never once considered to be a part of my life. but, they all are. without the ability to choose, then women today would be nothing more than wives forced into marriage and producing children in the 10s and 12s, instead of the 2s or 3s. how, although i respect women who choose this life for themselves (as mothers with the responsibilities that go with such a thing) i perhaps don't value it enough. what do i value? the power of love? not really. kindness? hardly. intelligence? oh yea!

reading this book made me look at the slightly disturbing aspect of myself that i value more than anything. and not in just me, it's what i judge you on first as well. intelligence. i've always dismissed it as fine, normal even, to do this. after all, it's better than judging someone on their appearance. but, when did i become such a snob? maybe, it's something built within my dna.... or is that just an excuse. still, after thousands of years of men telling women they are beneath them is it not completely understanding that we feel the need to push back in some way?

the short answer is, no. there was a line in the second chapter, that suggested the reason men (specifically during the 16th century and then again, when women demanded their right to vote) of these times saw the need to put down a woman's worth was to elevate his own. this is what i do. i think you are stupid, i feel smarter, i feel superior. this is not acceptable. there is always someone smarter than you are, and always someone not as intelligent at you. maybe, we should all remember this next time someone asks a 'stupid' question. i know i'll try.

flying by the seat of my pants probably isn't going to work anymore....

i'm back baby dolls! and after a hard day of examing, shopping and then drinking, then shopping again i felt my blog calling to me. so here we go.

right, i had my very first psychology exam today and to say that i was scared is a massive understatement. still, i have also never studied that much in my entire life. seriously! my hsc preparation consisted of me watching the x files and well, compared to psych a media degree is a cake walk! sodoku is harder than writing a bcm essay and getting a credit!

this mornings exam was insane! 115 multiple choice questions covering 13 weeks of course content that introduces students to over 125 years of psychoanalytic theory and practice! so in a desperate ploy to, you know, not fail i studied my little heart out. now this need to not fail has never existed within me the entire 3 years i have been at uni! what can i say i'm a masochist. but after failing a 7% quiz rather spectacularly earlier this session it freaked me out so much that i picked up a pen turned away from my precious blog, facebook, twitter, etsy, gmail and hotmail accounts and actually cracked a book.

now the biggest problem is, after the exam was over i felt absolutely no relief. none! if anything, i actually felt worse. yes the session is now over but, i seriously have no idea if i passed todays exam. i have no frame of reference when it comes to academic success with an exam that attacks (yes attacks) key underlying knowledge. i may have failed. i knew some answers, didn't know others and was unsure of a fair few.

oooh well, will just have to wait and see. nothing more i can do now. if i fail, i re do the class. expensive life lesson, but one i probably needed to learn.

ALSO, if anyone comments saying, 'whatever will be, will be' i swear to god i may have to kick you in the face. except when you say it mum, then.... sure it helps.