22 April, 2010

ding dong the witch is dead! well, at least for another year.

i really could not give two shits about who won the third australian series of sytycd! i can't believe these illiterate half wits really think winning this competition that is supposedly, 'showing australia the world of dance', is going to make a blind bit of difference if they audition overseas. you will get turned down for the chorus on broadway but hey that laminated certificate from channel ten will keep you warm at night. then again, if you do get a spot in the back of the chorus in the matinée performance of 'wicked' during its 150th week you can feel proud that you will be doing the world a service. because, the world needs more musicals. hang on, wait. no sorry that isn't right. we learn nothing from musicals that we couldn't get of a life insurance ad on morning tv or the lovely and talented tina fey.

sytycd, or as i like to call it, 'stop crying about your precious "art form", cut your hair and get a job you pliet doing, tight wearing, pop music loving wanker!'....not sure that my title would take off. i mean, can u image the acronym.

ALSO, if it is so incredibly hard to speak because you are obviously somewhat disturbed from over stretching; how about practising what you are going to say before a camera is shoved in your face. these dancers need to get it through their tiny little minds that, stringing a sentence together without using the word "like" five times is important to us. we need to believe you have a brain that is slightly larger than roadkill if you expect us to reach across the couch for our mobile phones. moreover, their sob stories are either lacking in originality or far too elaborate. crying all over national tv twice a week about your dead granny with her kitty that has diabetes and the only way you can get it money for medicine is to dance your little heart out. ever heard of the saying, 'keep it simple stupid!'.

maybe it should be, 'shut up mr. jumpy you're pissing me off!' though, can't see that being really appropriate for the 7.30pm time slot. ooh well back to the drawing board.

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